The Reason You Suck
by anxresi
Summary: After the events of Not What He Seems, Dipper is like a volcano ready to explode. And his beloved sister is alas, first in his firing line. SPOILERS FOR THE LATEST EPISODE. I own nothing at all... Apart from an aging laptop.


Dipper stormed into the room he and his sister shared. He wore an expression on his face like fire.

Behind him, his twin sister Mabel followed staring down at the floor, unravelling her sweater with a loose thread. It had an insignia of a key on it, but as far as Dipper was concerned it may as well been a locked door. Which he would never open again.

At the sound of the two residents of the attic arriving, Mabel's prize pet pig Waddles immediately jumped off her duvet to meet her, grunting happily.

Then suddenly, the hog stopped short. He'd been given a glare by Dipper, as if the animal had commited some past wrong it wasn't aware of. More pensive now, the creature oinked in fear and ducked under it's mistress's bed, with a noticeable tremor. Who says pigs aren't smart?

Mabel looked up at her brother, an uncharacteristic frown on her face, especially considering the circumstances here "Dipper, I know you're upset, but you don't have to take it out on..."

"DON'T YOU SEE MABEL?!" Dipper shouted a retort "THAT PIG IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!"

Mabel's expression immediately changed to someone on the brink of tears. Both at her brother's flash of anger, and his unwarranted, surprising attack on her pet.

"REMEMBER HOW YOU GOT THAT THING MABEL? I SACRIFICED MY FUTURE WITH WENDY SO YOU COULD HAVE HIM! ALL YOU DO IS DRESS IT UP IN STUPID OUTFITS AND FEED IT RUBBISH, WHILE I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS! I THINK WE KNOW WHO GOT THE BETTER END OF THAT BARGAIN!"

Mabel recoiled in shock. She'd NEVER heard her bro-bro talk like this before. She almost crawled under the bed with Waddles to put her hands in his ears so he wouldn't hear the horrible things Dipper was saying about him. But her twin wasn't finished yet.

"OH, AND THIS ISN'T A ONE OFF EITHER IS IT? I'VE BEEN SACRIFICING THINGS FOR YOU LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTRE ALL SUMMER NOW, HAVEN'T I? I ALMOST DIED TRYING TO HELP YOU BREAK UP WITH GIDEON! I LOST A GREAT JOB AT THE POOL SO YOU COULD KISS SOME FISH! AND YOU HAD ME SPEND AN ENTIRE WEEK MAKING STUPID PUPPETS BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO IMPRESS SOME WEIRD GUY!"

"Dip-" His sister sobbed, quietly

"AND NOW" He continued with his tirade, unabated" TO TOP IT ALL OFF YOU TRUST A CON MAN, WHO LIED TO US FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, ABOVE YOUR OWN BROTHER?! I CAN'T BELIEVE... AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER... IT HAS TO END LIKE THIS."

"E-end..."?! Mabel was on a verge of a nervous breakdown

YES, MABEL. THE MYSTERY TWINS ARE NO MORE. IF I CAN'T TRUST YOU TO LISTEN TO ME OVER SOME GUY WE DON'T EVEN KNOW, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY THINK YOU'D HAVE MY BACK DURING OUR ADVENTURES? MAYBE I'LL TAKE SOOS ALONG, PERHAPS WENDY... I MAY EVEN GO SOLO. BUT ONE THING'S FOR SURE... IT WON'T BE WITH SOMEONE I NO LONGER HAVE ANY FAITH IN!

It took all her strength to avoid collapsing in hysterics there and then. Waddles inched further under the bed, seemingly as broken as his owner. Mabel tried one last desperate plea to her brother, who was now wearing a scowl the size of his birthmark.

"Bu-But Dipper, it all worked out for the best, right? The author is here now. No one is hurt. Can't we just put this be..." She laid a trembling hand on her sibling's shoulder.

"NO!" Dipper moved his arm away firmly, causing his sister to flinch in anguish. "I DON'T CARE! YOU HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT! YOU JUST MADE UP YOUR OWN MIND, AND COMPLETELY IGNORED ME... AS USUAL! IF IT'S NOT YOUR NON-EXISTENT LOVE LIFE YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH, IT'S INTERFERING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS! YOU'RE SO SELFISH, AND YOU DON'T EVEN SEE IT! YOU'RE MORE OF AN HINDRANCE THAN A HELP!

Mabel had no other option. She was curling up next to Waddles, pushing up her homemade jumper. Yep, she was most definitely entering Sweatertown.

But in a change to the usual routine, her brother was in no mood to provide her with an escape route out of it.

"IT'S DECIDED THEN. FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN STAY HOME WITH YOUR PIGGY WIGGY AND PLAY STUPID DATING BOARD GAMES AND READ TRASHY ROMANCE NOVELS WITH YOUR FRIENDS! YOU CAN EVEN BEDAZZLE THE ENTIRE ROOM FOR ALL I CARE... BECAUSE I'M OUT. AS SOON AS I GET THE CHANCE TOMORROW, I'M MOVING TO THE SPARE. GOODNIGHT, MABEL."

His anger finally sated, he climbed under the covers. If he'd really listened, he would have heard the muffled sounds of a young girl's heart breaking, as a lifelong friendship had apparently come to an end. But, all he wanted to do was sleep.

Just before he did though, his pupils briefly dilated.


End file.
